What They Teach You In Golf School

Golf school is where you got to learn how to play golf. That seems easy enough. So what do they teach you in golf school? They teach you how to properly grip the club and where your hands should be on the club when you are gripping it. They teach you the advantages of a soft grip and the horrors of a tight grip. They teach you how to slow down on your back swing and how to yell fore when you don’t slow down on your back swing and you send your drive rocketing at top speed into the group on the other fairway. They teach you how to keep your head down and how to follow through without knocking yourself out or dislocating your hip.

At golf school they teach you things like golf etiquette and the rules of golf. There are written rules of golf and there are the unwritten rules of golf. At golf school they teach you both sets of rules. At golf school they teach why it is not funny to yell fore when you don’t need you and they also teach you that just because the course ranger is an old guy doesn’t mean he can’t call the cops. They teach you how to properly celebrate a hole in one which includes doing the horsey dance with your club and then they tell you the actual odds of getting a hole in one and that they are PGA professionals and they have never gotten a hole in one. They try to break your spirit at golf school and you just have to take it like a man.

So What Don’t They Teach You?

At golf school they will neglect to teach you that sometimes people do make honest mistakes and that they didn’t really mean to hit you with their ball. So hitting their ball back to them which is what really started the fight in the first place is probably not a good idea. At golf school they will not teach you that sometimes the porta-john just isn’t around and guy has to do what a guy has to do. They will not teach you the embarrassing penalty for not hitting the ball past the ladies tee and they certainly will not spend any time explaining the physics of why golf carts tip over and how much that can really hurt.

They won’t spend any time explaining to you that no refunds if it rains means no refunds and was it really worth a night in jail and a $200 fine to figure that out? They will neglect to teach you that if you try to hit the men’s room when your group is up on the tee you will lose your turn in line, so hold it. There is a lot they won’t tell you but that is the fun of it, when you learn all of that real world stuff yourself.